Both the mouse-dragging and water-overflowing incidents (in the video below) occurred within the past few months, with people I had just met. I got a “What’s wrong with you??” vibe both times. It may be real, it may be imagined.
So, what’s the solution?
For the person with hearing loss (PWHL): disclose your hearing loss! Practice telling people early on in interactions, even if you are not sure it is necessary for the situation. You may have to tell them more than once.
Talk to someone about feeling inadequate. If you don’t get what you need from the conversation, express that too. When we educate others about hearing loss, we make it easier for the next time. If not for ourselves, for another PWHL.
Know you are not alone. Many people with hearing loss have shared that they felt less competent and “with it” when they missed cues that other people don’t think twice about.
For the colleague, significant other, or family member: “Sometimes the most helpful thing we can do is not to help, or at least not in an overt manner.” ~David Luterman.
Overt assistance can appear like a statement that the recipient is inadequate and needs help. We like to feel needed, and we like to help, so we must step carefully. It’s a balancing act to support in a sensitive, timely fashion.
Validate feelings of inadequacy. It is completely “normal” to feel this way when we miss cues, even if it isn’t our “fault.” Allow for the expression of emotion. Don’t move on until the PWHL is ready.
Communicate that they are the experts when it comes to their own lives. You will be there to assist and support. Ask, “How can I support you?” The answer might surprise you.
Related post: Social isolation due to hearing loss
