Significant Others

From the chronicles

Adjusting to hearing loss

This blows my mind: people adjust to hearing loss before they even acknowledge that the hearing loss exists. A common adjustment for people with hearing loss (PWHL): bluffing. A common adjustment for significant others and family members: repeating themselves. For couples, it’s often about going out less and for shorter times. What kind of adjustments […]

How can you tell hearing loss from selective hearing?

How can you tell hearing loss from selective hearing? For me, it might seem like I only pay attention when I want to. However, under the same listening conditions, some days I can engage in conversation while other days I cannot due to the effort involved. Communication should be a two-way street, with both partners […]

finger pointing to phrase trying new things

Why it’s important to slow down when talking to people with hearing loss

When you are talking to a person with hearing loss, it’s really important to slow down. Why? Your words run together when you talk fast. Here’s an example. Let’s say you are commenting on some brownies that I made, and I thought you said, “It’s awfully chewy.” When you actually said, “It’s soft and chewy.” […]

Four Things not to do as a person with hearing loss at a party

Assume that others remember that you have hearing loss: as a PWHL (person with hearing loss), expect that you will have to tell people more than once about your hearing loss and your communication needs. People will forget that you have hearing loss. We’re human, and human beings forget. Also, people are more focused on […]

What does “falling on deaf ears” mean?

Do you ever use the expression “falling on deaf ears”? I wonder if people are really thinking about what they are saying when they use this expression. Do they mean that the person appears to have selective hearing? That may be an unfair accusation when applied to someone with hearing loss.

Hearing loss can strain relationships, if both parties don’t put in the work

As an audiologist and someone who has hearing loss, I’ve seen how even a little bit of hearing difficulty can affect a relationship. It can start with small things, such as missing jokes or quick comments. Common adjustments that happen gradually as we get older are watching TV in different rooms and socializing less and […]

How do you deal with a spouse who is Hard of Hearing?

While it’s important to advocate for a significant other with hearing loss, be aware that you can over-do it. I have occasionally been on the receiving end of the overdoing. It was embarrassing. But it galvanized me to take responsibility for my own communication needs. In some situations, I might not disclose my hearing loss […]

Tip for Communicating with People who have Hearing Loss | Get Attention First

If you have hearing loss, it’s important to ask people to get your attention before speaking. You might not necessarily know that the other person is speaking to you unless they get your attention. If you miss the first few words, that’s valuable information about the topic that you are missing. If they call your […]

Selective Hearing Versus Hearing Loss

Have you ever accused someone with hearing loss of having selective hearing? I’ve heard this accusation at times from significant others. This may be an unfair accusation when applied to someone with hearing loss. By its very nature, hearing loss results in selective hearing. First of all, people with hearing loss have to pay attention […]

Words That Hurt

Why You Should Not Say “Never Mind” to a Person With Hearing Loss The following is from the book A Quiet World, by David G. Myers, a psychologist with hearing loss. “Never mind.” How familiar those words are to the hard of hearing. “Ted said that the doctor wanted her…” “I’m sorry?” “Ted said […]