Despite hearing loss, despite introversion,  connection can be easy and fulfilling, under the right conditions. People with hearing loss (PWHL) have a role to play in creating the conditions. Here are some suggestions. (See more detailed explanations below the video frame.)

Arrive early, leave early.  When you arrive early at a party, you’ll get a chance to talk to the host. Then the host can introduce you to new guests as they arrive. Other people arriving early might be in the same boat as you. The hard part about “breaking in” at a party where you don’t know people is that people tend to socialize with people they already know. But if you’re early, most people don’t yet have a friend to greet.

Give yourself permission to leave after an hour or two if you are not comfortable.

Choose the best seat: Choose a seat that lets you see as many faces as possible. That way, you’ll be able to see their lips while people are speaking. Sometimes the best seat is the one beside a friend or loved one who can help fill you in on parts of the conversation you may miss. Sometimes the best seat is next to the most outgoing conversationalist in the room. Some people prefer to sit closer to the person in the room who is hardest to hear. What is your preference?

Ask for help: Ask for video calls (vs. audio only) from family and friends. Ask for conversations to take place in quieter spaces, with fewer overlapping voices. Ask the host to turn the music down. Ask people to slow down when they speak. Cup your hand behind your ear to indicate that the person should speak louder (this way you don’t have to interrupt the flow of conversation). Ask for the topic (my strategy is: “I must admit I have lost the thread of this conversation. Are we still talking about…”).

Tension relievers: People with hearing loss often have to cope with more uncertainty and ambiguity in social situations. Tension relievers that you can do in real-time can bring ease into your body. My favourite is the physiological sigh: Take a double inhale through the nose, followed by an extended exhale through the mouth. You can sigh on the exhale if you like!

Disclose your hearing loss: When people know you have hearing loss, they are more likely to be understanding if you need something repeated. If you disengage when the listening effort is high, people may assume that you are standoffish or uninterested if they don’t know about your hearing loss.